The Best Ways to Show Up for Theybies and Support Their Parents
15th January 2025
As the world becomes more aware of the importance of gender inclusivity, a growing number of parents are choosing to raise their children without assigning them a specific gender at birth.
These children, known as theybies, are part of a movement that’s reshaping how we think about identity. In fact, recent studies show that nearly 1 in 4 parents are now open to raising their child without a gender label.
However, with these changes come unique challenges for both theybies and their families.
So, how can we show up for them?
In this post, we’ll explore five thoughtful ways you can support theybies and their parents. Intrigued? Let’s dive in!
Top Ways of Showing Up For Theybies and Their Parents
Here are some of the effective ways of showing up for theybies and their parents:
1. Understanding the Theybies Movement
Theybies movement is an approach of parenting that shifts away from traditional gender norms. Many parents globally are raising their children without assigning them a gender at birth, using gender-neutral pronouns like "they" or "them."
The term "theybies" captures this innovative method of child-rearing, where a child's gender identity is allowed to naturally unfold without societal pressure. Imagine the freedom of growing up without being boxed into pink or blue, trucks or dolls!
The theybies movement is about embracing a broader spectrum of identity, allowing children to decide who they are as they grow. It's a revolutionary step towards creating a more inclusive and accepting world. By understanding this movement, we can appreciate the deep-rooted desire for freedom and authenticity that drives it.
2. Understanding The Importance of Effort and Intention
Creating a supportive environment for theybies starts with genuine effort and intention. It’s not about getting everything perfect but showing that you care and are striving to adapt. People really appreciate when you take the time to understand and use gender-neutral terminology, even if you make mistakes along the way.
Your effort demonstrates respect and dedication to embracing new ways of thinking. It’s okay to admit that it feels different or challenging, just as long as you’re committed to learning and growing. When engaging with parents of theybies, a simple acknowledgment of their choices can make a world of difference.
You can say statements like-
“I understand and respect your decision and I’m willing to learn. Please bear with me as I practice!”.
This openness fosters trust and comfort, transforming mistakes into moments of connection and understanding.
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3. Supporting Theybie Parents in Education
One of the greatest ways to support theybie parents is by sharing their educational responsibilities. Parenting non-binary children often involves explaining and redefining gender norms to family, friends, and even strangers. You can help lighten this load by diving into resources and learning about topics like gender-neutral pronouns, gender identity, and raising gender-creative children.
By widening your understanding, you can become an ally who champions these essential conversations, creating a ripple effect of support throughout the community. Not everyone understands the difference between sex and gender right away, but by stepping in and clarifying these distinctions, you can alleviate the pressure on the parents.
4. Organizing Inclusive Events with Educational Materials
What could be more fun than hosting an inclusive event? Think gender-neutral baby showers or theybie-friendly playdates! Infuse these gatherings with educational materials, turning each meetup into a lively learning opportunity. Posters, books, and games like "Pin the tail on the gender unicorn" can transform any event into an enlightening experience.
As you creatively engage with these materials, you'll not only educate yourself but also invite others to enjoy the beauty of inclusivity. Remember, the more comfortable people become with terms and concepts, the stronger the community of support for theybies and their families.
5. Providing Practical Support Like Gender-Affirming Clothes
Clothing is an important part of expressing identity, even for young ones. By gifting theybie families with gender-affirming clothes, like-fun, expressive onesies, or pins showcasing preferred pronouns, you show that you understand and support their parenting choices.
Ask parents about their child’s preferences or any needs they have and keep an eye out for items that align with a gender-neutral upbringing. These gestures are meaningful reminders that you respect their desire to raise their child in a space free from restrictive gender norms.
6. Reflecting on Personal Gender Conditioning
To genuinely support theybies and their parents, start by reflecting on your own experiences with gender expectations. Think back to your childhood: how early were you aware of gender roles? For many, these notions were introduced well before we could question their validity.
Boys may have faced pushback for interests that weren’t "manly" enough, while girls may get stereotyped to have specific hobbies and behaviours. Recognizing these early influences is the first step toward understanding how they might impact our views on gender-neutral parenting.
7. Exploring Emotional Reactions to Gender-Neutral Parenting
It’s not uncommon to have strong emotional reactions to the concept of gender-neutral parenting. These feelings often stem from our personal histories with gender conditioning. Ask yourself why you feel so strongly about fitting children into traditional gender categories. What experiences shaped these beliefs?
By examining your own past and acknowledging these reactions, you can pave the way for empathy. It becomes easier to support theybie parents wholeheartedly when you see their choices as a quest for authenticity and freedom, rather than a challenge to traditional norms.
8. Respecting Diverse Parenting Choices
Respecting diverse parenting choices is crucial for fostering an inclusive and supportive community. When parents decide to raise their children as theybies, they're making a choice that prioritizes their child's freedom and individuality. The aim is to allow these children to flourish without the constraints of traditional gender roles. Even if this isn't your parenting path, it's essential to approach these choices with an open mind and heart.
Every parent makes choices based on what they believe is best for their child. Understanding and respecting these decisions, especially in the context of a gender-neutral upbringing, is vital. It’s also important to remember that cultural understandings of gender vary significantly across the globe, and have done so throughout history. Some cultures have long recognized and celebrated more than two genders, and it can offer you valuable insights into inclusive parenting.
Final Thoughts
Raising theybies is not just a parenting choice, it's a movement towards a more inclusive and liberating world for children. It’s imperative to understand and respect the reasons behind choosing a gender-neutral upbringing, and supporting it involves more than passive acceptance.
By pursuing courses like Online Special Education Courses for Parents, actively engaging with these families, willing to learn, and opening dialogues about sex and gender, you can nurture understanding and compassion. Whether it’s through educating others, or simply being willing to listen and learn, your efforts contribute to a more inclusive future.
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Written By : Park Jin Ae